School Daze (snippet)

Warnings: Pointless wackiness, ramblings written at an ungodly hour and spastic OCs. There's crack!Percy/Nico, but it's nothing serious. More like… well. You'll know.


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  Nico strode down the hallway, arms folded across his chest even as he gnawed fretfully at his lip. A frown was etched deep across his brow as he assimilated the information he just gathered by slinking around the school in the shadows.

  There's definitely something fishy happening, Nico mused, absent-mindedly ducking out of the way of the other students wandering along the corridor. It stinks of Eau de Home Sweet Home so heavily it's not even funny. It's a wonder the normal students haven't picked up on the smell yet. Dad's probably right – it has to be the work of one of Hell's creatures. Maybe one of them escaped? Man, somebody should put all those animals in enclosures and sell tickets. 'Zoo of the Undead'! Or something. At least it'd be easier to keep tabs on all of th–

  For a moment, Nico's mind drew a blank as he was suddenly jostled out of his thoughts. Then he registered waving his arms around in frantic pinwheels by his side as he fought for balance.

  It was a spectacular failure.

  Skidding for at least a metre from where he slipped, Nico's legs finally slid out from underneath him, sending him sprawling even further across the floor. Nico groaned, wincing at his now extremely sore behind. He could feel the soapy water on the floor start to percolate through his jeans and sneakers. What sort of lousy janitor left the floors sopping wet?

  Before he could even exclaim the complaint, he heard frantic footsteps behind him as someone sloshed through the puddle to grab him by the arm and hoist him upright. There was a disorientating stream of apologetic babble launched straight at him the moment he was on two feet again.

  " – I'm really sorry! I didn't realize students would be heading down this corridor; it seemed pretty deserted when I started… Are you hurt? Did you break any bones? Would you like me to walk you to the infirmary? Shucks, hang on, let me get the water off you – "

  Nico stared at the janitor clutching his arm.

  Brown hair with the slightest curl in their strands. Apologetic eyes the colour of the Mediterranean Sea. That awful shade of orange peeking out from beneath the janitor uniform's dirty blue…

  What the –

  "Percy?"

  The janitor stopped talking. Blinked. Then turned to stare at him.

  A beat.

  "Nico?"

  There was a long moment where the two of them just gaped idiotically at each other. The stunned silence was only broken when Nico leaned forward to pinch the janitor on the forearm. Hard.

  "OW! What the hell, Nico!"

  "Huh," said Nico muttered thoughtfully to himself, "not a hallucination, then."

  "You little –" Percy heaved a sigh. "Nico, what exactly are you doing here?"

  Nico gave a tiny snort of disbelief, fixing Percy with a look. Percy winced. It was such a look. A look taken straight off the face of Hades, to be precise.

  "I happen to be a student of this school. I think the more pressing question would be why you are here. In a janitor's uniform. Holding a – hang on, you were the one mopping the floors? No wonder it was so wet! You were playing with soap water?"

  "I wasn't – shut up!" Percy scowled at the widening grin on Nico's face, two spots of pink rising on his cheeks, "I said shut up! I was just – ugh." He huffed embarrassedly, looking at his shoes. It was all very endearing. Nico felt himself relenting.

  "Alright, alright," Nico snickered. "I give. What are you doing here, Perce?"

  Percy glanced left and right, making sure that nobody else was about before leaning closer in, muttering, "Camp business. Duh."

  Nico mouthed a soft 'ah', tilting his head. "Scouting?"

  Percy nodded, only to frown as he continued considering him.

  "Since when did you start going to school though? I thought, and I quote, 'modern education is below a hardened 80-something year old Prince of Darkness'? Or did you finally realize that the world isn't all laid out in mythomagic cards?" Percy teased, tapping the edge of Nico's black spectacles. Nico grinned good-naturedly back.

  "Hardly! I'm on a quest to add yet another Hell figurine to my collection. It's proving elusive though, so I thought I'd take it slow."

  Percy nodded sagely, "I suppose your daddy's given the go ahead?"

  "He was the one who sent me here. You know. Fellow fanatic of mythomagic and all," Nico winked, even as Percy choked on a laugh.

  Nico's wide grin faded slightly into a genuine smile.

  "I'm glad you'll be around though," Nico said softly, "being around so many living humans all of a sudden… It gets a little overwhelming."

  Percy smiled, ruffling his hair a little despite his yelp of protest.

  "S'lright. Just look for me whenever you get overwhelmed, yeah? We can talk mythomagic with each other whenever you want to," Percy added, quirking an eyebrow at him knowingly. Nico had to bite back a snigger. Hey, son of Hades here – there was probably an official quota on mirth he could exhibit in a day, or something. He schooled his face into a more deadpan expression.

  "I'll take you up on that offer. Although, could you first do something about my clothes? I don't think Miss Erys would appreciate me turning up to class dripping wet…"

  "Oh, right!" Percy gave a sheepish chuckle. He lowered his hand and left it hovering over the wet patches on Nico's jeans. Nico could feel all the water gradually siphoning out of his clothes.

  "There you go," Percy said, "Ready to take on the Hell of suffocating schoolwork, spiteful teachers and annoying schoolmates?"

  Nico had to wince a little at that. "Well, if I could take down armies and put up with a temperamental Hell lord on a daily basis, this ought to be a walk in the park."

  Hopefully, he thought darkly to himself.

  Hopefully.

  
  OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO


  "Ohmigodohmigodohmigod, oh my GOD!"

  The door to the classroom was unceremoniously slammed open, causing the two students in there to jump about the foot in the air at the sudden noise. The bespectacled brunette pressed a hand over her heart as though to calm herself before scowling heavily at the intruder.

  "Alexis!" she exclaimed angrily at the intruder, "quit scaring us like that!"

  Alexis laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck even as he closed the door behind him.

  "Sorry Sophie," said Alexis. "But I just found something out that you would not believe…!"

  The last student in the room, a blond, cracked a wide meaningful grin at Alexis.

  "Lemme guess," he drawled airily, "you dug up some dirt on some poor unsuspecting jock? You found out that the lunch lady is having an affair with the Principal? You found out that Miss Erys is secretly a demon who eats naughty schoolchildren for dinner?"

  Alexis shook his head. "All that's pretty groundbreaking news, but no. It's something way more sensational than that!"

  He strode forward and slammed both palms down onto Cecil's desk, causing his classmate to startle slightly. He leaned down such that they were at eye level with each other, catching Cecil's gaze with his twinkling eyes. He looked slowly from Cecil to Sofia, drawing out the suspense as much as he could.

  "You guys know di Angelo, yeah?"

  Sofia paused to consider for a bit before nodding. "The new kid right? The one who just transferred over three days ago?"

  "Right," he affirmed. "Guess what?"

  His smile turned terrifyingly gleeful.

  "He's having an affair with the janitor."

  …

  …um. Wait, what?

  "Hold on hold on," Cecil said distractedly, leaning away from Alexis with a very odd look on his face. "Reeeewind a little. Di Angelo what? I don't think I quite got that… Something about the janitor?"

  Sofia was like a statue beside them. She also looked decidedly green.

  "Alex," her voice was strained, nothing above a whisper, "are you sure you got it right?"

  He couldn't help but frown at that, stung at her disbelief.

  "Well excuuuuse you! Are you actually doubting my ability to scent out a scoop?"

  "Well, no," she said. She still looked like she was about to be sick. "It's just… Isn't Mr. Marsh like, over sixty years old?"

  Alexis' expression cleared up in an instant.

  "Oh!" he laughed, "no, not that janitor. The other one! You know, the one that just came in recently? The young one!" He frowned thoughtfully. "I think his name was Jackdon? Jaron? Jackson! Yeah, the Jackson guy."

  Cecil still looked decidedly stunned, "Nico is having an affair with the janitor?"

  "Do I hear an echo? Yes! That's what I said!"

  "But Alexis," Sofia drew out slowly, "how did you know? You didn't catch them…"

  "No! Ew! Sofia, stop that thought," Cecil snapped. He planted his face straight on the table top and groaned. "That was one mental image I could have done happily without."

  Alexis patted Cecil's head sympathetically even as he mused thoughtfully aloud.

  "Well, no," Alexis admitted to Sofia, "but I did hear them propositioning each other!"

  The two of them decided to ignore Cecil, who immediately clamped his hands over his ears as he sang obnoxiously off-key in an attempt to tune them out.

  "I heard something about an offer. Something regarding wet clothes. Taking them off or something? Man, that di Angelo guy is pretty forward," Alexis hummed to himself, trying to recall what he saw from around the corner. "Oh! And then janitor groped him."

  Sofia was significantly aghast. Cecil's forehead met the table one again with a loud thump.

  "The janitor sexually harassed him?"

  "…I don't think it's considered harassment when it's consensual, though… Nico seemed pretty happy with him."

  Systems crashed. Please wait one moment for systems to reload. Rebooting…

  Sofia and Cecil both continued staring at Alexis, who stared bemusedly back.

  "What?"

  Sofia and Cecil exchanged a look.

  "Alexis," Cecil began tentatively. "Are you sure it was Nico you saw? Because I might not know him all that well, but the one sure thing I do know is that 'Nico di Angelo' and 'happy' do not go in the same sentence. His default expression is the most frightening scowl I've ever seen, for heaven's sake."

  Sofia nodded empathetically beside him in agreement.

  Alexis shrugged. "That was what I saw, man. He was even laughing and everything. They were exchanging that sort of look, you know, the secretive furtive one? Yeah," he nodded resolutely to himself. "They're definitely having an affair."

  "…huh," said Sofia. She looked utterly bamboozled. Cecil stared up at the ceiling in thought.

  "I suppose... maybe we could show support for him or something? I mean, Miss Erys did tell us to make him feel more welcome… Maybe the first step could be telling him that we don't mind his… relationship? God knows how sensitive people get with their sexuality, not to mention their not-so-secret affairs with the school staff," Cecil muttered, scrunching up his nose.

  "I don't know…" Sofia said, "I mean, won't he deny everything? Especially since it is a secret affair…"

  Alexis shrugged. "Everybody wants acceptance! We could make him feel better about himself! Maybe he'll relax a little and be a little happier with the rest of the class too."

  There was a long moment of silence.

  "So… who's going to talk to di Angelo?"

  "Not it!"

  "Not me!"

  "Not – dammit!" Cecil grimaced at the two of his friends. "Why do I always get to do the dirty work?"

  Sofia looked pointedly away.

  Alexis just gave him the widest shit-eating grin he could muster.

  Cecil decided that he would need a new pair of running shoes. God knows what di Angelo would do to him if he accidentally offended him.

-------------[END]